Ryan attempts to verbalize his Mission experience this summer:

The mission trip we just got back from was probably the best I've ever been on! It was soooo amazing! First of all, I led worship every night in a small relaxing atmosphere with just about 15 people. It was probably the best worship I have ever been to. I would be playing guitar and singing and crying and I would look up and see kids that I would never imagine worshipping whole heartedly, with their faces in their hands just bawling. For five nights in a row God just moved more than I had ever seen before! It was the most amazing experience ever! I saw people grow in their faith...right before my eyes!!! One of my friends who hadn't been going to church much before and was raised catholic was hit so hard the first night, that he decided that after every worship for the rest of the week he was going to study the bible and present what he learned in a bible study led by him!!! I think that is soo cool! It was like songs that we had sung 100s of times before sounded like completely different songs! Oooh, it was so awesome!

Then we went to this night shelter and played with some kids that were absolutely terrific. I don't know if I ever told you about the homeless guy I met in Denver. Well anyway this guy came up to me and started saying that I was his cousin and just random things and he said that I'd see him again soon. And when I left I realized that I had seen Jesus in his worn, drunken, homeless eyes and I was so moved. Well, the other day when we went to this homeless shelter, I met this little girl named Laramie. She was this little bratty 7 yr old who acted like she was 17. She obviously hadn't had much in the way of good parenting because of the way she acted. Well she did something and her mom said she was going to spank her and Laramie of course said "so", so she took her to spank her and Laramie came back crying. She had her head down and I saw her from across the room and then she lifted her eyes to me and waved to me! At that very moment I saw the eyes of Jesus. This little bratty girl had just enough innocence to make my day! It was so cool. Then later that night I realized what had happened in relation to the guy in Denver, he said I would see him again, and I saw him in a 7 yr old girl! It's so awesome how God works like that!

Oh I forgot to mention that all of this is taking place in Ft. Worth. This year we decided to take our mission trip to our own backyard. We were like why spend money on going somewhere when people need help here. So the last day we made 150 lunches, thats 1-5-0, and went and handed them out to people in Ft. Worth it was amazing. Like within 5 min of being there, we were swarmed by homeless people! It was like they had a radar! But then we ran out and there were still people without food, it was devestating! The look in their eyes when asking if there was anymore was just......oh it just hurt me. So we left and we all felt pretty bad but we realized that we helped a little bit and we are gonna go back and do it more during the year.

Then on the last night we had worship, and once again it was so very moving. We started out with telling about our week and then it turned into one after the other telling about their drug and alchohol addictions! It was like God was just letting it all hang out of us! We were so weak in spite of the masks we all had on. We were just all humbled to hear all the things. People were telling how the past week had changed their plans for life! This one girl that has always wanted to be a chef, had God tell her that she needed to be a missionary! How cool is that! And this guy who has been stuggling with alchohol and drugs said that because of working with the kids, he wants to be a youth minister! How cool is that! And then we did our last song of the week and once again I'm just crying. Then after one of my youth ministers came up to me and said, "ryan, this week has been so great and I can feel that God is telling you to be a worship leader."......oh my gosh....what she didn't know was that the whole week God had been puting that on my heart and I had been wrestling with it every night! I was just like oh my gosh, thats probably what i should be doing! So I've mostly decided that I'm going to be a worship leader! How cool is that!!!!

Reminds me of a song lyric I just read:

The Hard Part

I see the look that's in your eyes
that says, I must keep most of me inside,
You'd never love me if I didn't hide
the secrets of my heart

I'm not here for the surface stuff
just get bored with all that fluff
so show me the edges even if it's rough
and let the real love start

You think your shame and deep disgrace
are more than I can bear
But you can go to your darkest place
and I will meet you there

I'm strong enough to take it
and I know what you've been through
You've got a whole heart, give me the hard part
I can love that too

You look at me with some surprise
and I see the doubt that's in your eyes
like something deep inside you cries
with a hunger to be known

Like a tiger born in a city zoo
there's been no place for what's inside of you
you try to live like the others do
but it leaves you so alone

I know you think that the heat of your pain
is more than I can stand
Burn it all in one big flame
and I will hold it in my hand

'Cause I'm strong enough to take it
and I know what you've been through
You've got a whole heart, give me the hard part
I can love that too

Now your eyes well up with tears
'cause desire mixes with your fears
after so many wounded years
can you long for what you've missed?

You want a cool breeze to dance with your flame
a long-lost lover who knows your true name
a secret garden beyond the shame
It all comes down to this

You think your drowning hope will die
in a sea without a shore
but I can drink that ocean dry
and still come back for more

'Cause I'm strong enough to take it
and I know what you've been through
You've got a whole heart, give me the hard part
I can love that too
You've got a whole heart, give me the hard part
I can love that too

(Yes, of course, it’s David Wilcox.)