Four Rules for Irrelevance

Adapted from material in Mary Toumi Hammond's book, The Church and the Dechurched: Mending a Damaged Faith

1. Don't Think

What does it look like: "We don't question the Bible."
What is the cure: Freedom of genuine thought. Create a safe place for doubt and questions to be examined and explored.

This admonition stifles the development of original and independent thought. Judgments, ideas, and opinions must be suppressed unless they agree with dominant authority figures. One learns to placate in order to avoid conflict and condemnation. Conform outwardly. Keep the peace at any price. This develops a "split self": public self and private self. It is a form of intellectual abuse.

2. Don't Feel

What does it look like: "Praise the Lord anyway."
What is the cure: "Emotional Honesty. Create room in relationships for real life reactions."

Good emotions are happiness, kindness, self-sacrifice, gentleness, joy. Smile always. Keep your chin up. The bad emotions of anger, bitterness, depression, shame, guilt, and pain must be overcome by good. Anger is inappropriate. This rule teaches us to separate our emotions into "good emotions vs. bad emotions." Our feelings, both good and bad, are a gift from God. They help us to know ourselves and deepen our experiences.

3. Don't Talk

What does it look like: "We must follow the vision God has given him for our church."
What is the cure: Join the Conversation. Create a safe place for dialogue and discussion.

This rule is toxic. It stifles the honesty that is required to tackle difficult issues and stunts our spiritual growth. One is stranded, alone, and often treated like an outcast.

4. Don't Trust

What does it look like: "Pick most any church on Sunday Morning."
What is the cure: Forgiveness, Acceptance, Vulnerability.

We must accept forgiveness from God for our sin. We must find ourselves acceptable in His presence. We must learn to trust Him and risk trusting His people. The dangers and consequences are very real. If we commit ourselves in community to grow and learn from one another, then the reward will be life and community as God imagined it.